reading everything ive written in here, im disgusted. i know i can write better than that, that my thoughts are deeper, less choppy. its 9:30 and im going to be at work for another 2 1/2 hours. im sure it wont go by fast enough.

so i got more money from the lawyer and ive proceded to resort back to my old ways of seeking comfort first. i bought some clothes, really expensive clothes that i dont need and weve been eating out and eating more than we should. i swear i hate money. i really do. i keep thinking i wont spend it, that i wont be wasteful, but thats exactly what im doing. i like myself better when im broke. oh, and i found out yesterday that in addition to the money, the second wave of it, there is more to come